Updated: Jun 25
Well first of all, welcome to cocomykel.com! I'm Chloe...what strange times we are meeting in. I really do hope that wherever you are, you are safe and well.
I also hope you enjoy all the content on here, I have enjoyed putting together this site so much!
I used to have a blog yearssss ago, also named cocomykel.com, and I thought I wouldn't be able to get the domain name back but here we are! It was my baby, and remembering how much fun
I used to have creating content for it inspired me to start another one. I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes and it's definitely a positive outlet for me to let off some creative steam whilst being at home.
It's the 20th May and I've been spending the majority of my time at home since late March. It's gone super quick, and looking back I've actually done loads without really realising. First of all I started a podcast!!! Me...creating an actual podcast...all my myself. I knew it would be a lot of work, but until I started putting everything together I didn't really realise how much.
Every part of the podcast is put together by myself, from the editing, to the social media, to the graphics (apart from the logo, that was designed by my incredibly talented friend and graphic designer/illustrator Lucy, you can check out more of her work here - she's amazing!).
Loads of late nights, frustration and brain power later and I have a fully fledged podcast called 'The Self Made Podcast' which is available to stream on 8 major streaming platforms - you can also listen directly straight from my website here. The podcast is centred around self development, self love, the law of attraction, positivity, mindfulness and loads more.
If those topics seems like it's a bit of you, take a listen and leave us some feedback or a review - I really appreciate it! I am SO proud of it! Although it's been a lot of work, I've thoroughly enjoyed the project of putting it together and can't wait to see it grow.
So what else have I been up to...I finally started a YouTube channel. It's something I've been wanting to do for almost 10 years, but honestly I just didn't have the confidence. The thought of seeing myself on camera filled me with dread, so I accepted that it wasn't something I was ever going to be comfortable doing. After a lot of self love (I'm still not 100% there - baby steps!) and psyching myself up, I plucked up the courage to finally start.
It may seem like a small achievement to some, but to me it's HUGE. At the time of writing this, I have 3 videos up on my channel and I plan to upload a new video every Monday so make sure you subscribe if you like the content! YouTube has been another passion project that I have really enjoyed.
It's been such a blessing to have time to do things that I've always wanted to try my hand at, but never had the time to fully dedicate to it. I wonder what else I will end up trying haha! Well, this website for a start I guess!
The last couple months have been a strange time for us all, and I've definitely felt the ups, the downs and everything in between. I started off feeling really positive and quite frankly enjoying the break. I slowed down ALOT.
I was always someone who constantly felt like I had to be here, there and everywhere, and I constantly felt like I was running out of time to fit everything in. I didn't realise how much I was on auto-pilot, throwing myself towards things that I thought were going to take me places or be of benefit to me because of outside influence and "the way of the world".
Since being home I've had a lot of time to reflect, and really have conversations with myself. I've realised so many things about what makes me truly content, what I need to operate at optimum level. In the last few years I've become someone who values her own space and loves her own company, so I've really enjoyed that aspect of it. However, I didn't quite realise just how much I need space to detach and switch off from the world and from people. At a point I was struggling to sleep, wide awake until dawn which is so unlike me.
There was something causing me to feel restless and very anxious. I would wake up with terrible anxiety, my heart beating out of my chest and being so on edge that even a slightly loud sound would make me jump. I started to feel overwhelmed by my phone and people trying to talk to me, I just wanted to be alone and not have to answer anyone. I felt like there was things I needed to get on with, stuff I should be doing.
I need to DO and I need to make the most of my time because I could be wasting it. I needed to answer to people because thats what they wanted me to do, and it would be rude or unfair of me if I didn't. If I stop replying to people they may forget about me and the relationships and network I'd been working hard to build would just fall apart.
I then realised that I'd been living like that before the quarantine, and the anxiety was a pretty regular thing I had just become accustomed to it. I was letting everything and everyone else dictate my time, and where I put my energy.
After feeling that immense joy and peace that I'd felt in the first few weeks of being at home, was when I realised that spending my days at home with my dog, cooking, being by myself, doing things I enjoyed and just being was a real source of contentment for me.
If I'm honest this experience has changed my approach to "life" and caused me to re-define what I actually want out of it. It's shown me what really makes me happy and what is just temporary fulfilment.
So if you were to ask me 'am I grateful for this time?' I would say yes. I feel better equipped for the outside world in terms of what I want from it, but I also feel like a part of me doesn't belong in the "real world" anymore. The hustle cultured, career-driven and success measuring "real world".
I'm scared that when things start going back to "normal" I will feel like I wont fit anymore, or like it will be too much all at once because I've become so accustomed to this slower speed of living. I know all I can do is all I've been doing and that's take each day as it comes.
I'm continuing to enjoy the little things, feeling grateful for my health and the health of my family, the roof over my head and the small luxuries I have which others would kill for.
To anyone reading this, please know that however you are feeling is ok. Some days feel great and not so bad, where as other days can feel so overwhelming or you may just feel down but can't put your finger on why. We aren't supposed to know how to deal with what is going on, it's alien for all of us.
Tomorrow is a new day, and a new day is a chance to start again. One thing I never really gave myself before was time. Time to be, time to think, time to rest. Give yourself time.
Sending love and light to you all...