We are our own biggest obstacles and can hold ourselves back in ways that we don't even realise, for reasons that aren't even productive!
What is self-sabotage?
It's the sabotaging, whether consciously or subconsciously, of oneself.
Ultimately, self-sabotage is a defence mechanism. It prevents us from experiencing anything that we fear will hurt us.
So basically, it's just us unknowingly trying to protect ourselves.
Which in theory sounds great, but we fail to realise that to grow and progress, we have to step over to the other side of our fear.
What are limiting beliefs?
By definition, limiting beliefs are simply a false belief. This false belief is gained by an individual, as a result of that same individual making an incorrect assumption about something. It is incorrect because in most cases it either isn't true, hasn't happened or probably will never happen.
The most dangerous part about limiting beliefs is that they live in our subconscious mind - most of the time we aren't even aware that we believe those things.
Each and every one of us have limiting beliefs buried deep in our subconscious, whether they are small and seemingly dormant or whether they have been given immense power from being fed by trauma or low self-esteem.
Why do our limiting beliefs sabotage us?
Limiting beliefs mean we tell ourselves that we can't, that we shouldn't or that we aren't before we have even tried or without stopping to look at things for what they truly are.
They blind-side us and cause us to see life through a distorted lens.
It's important that we recognise these beliefs and work towards changing them for the better, in order for us to reach our full potential.
How do I change my limiting beliefs?
As I mentioned, because these beliefs are deep within our subconscious mind, changing these beliefs is not easy and takes time.
Like with anything in life, as long as you have patience, are persistent and committed to making a change - you will.
Here are 10 steps you can take that will help you understand how to stop sabotaging yourself so that you can live happier and more abundantly.
Step 1: Where are you sabotaging the most?
Is it in your career? Relationships? Or health and fitness? Figure out what area you feel your limiting beliefs are doing you the biggest disservice.
Step 2: Establish what your limiting beliefs are
Could it be that you see money as the root of unhappiness, or feel that it makes you greedy? Maybe you fear to be in a relationship because you associate love with getting hurt, or view all potential partners as "bad for you".
Step 3: Re-trace your steps
Where did these beliefs come from? Was it a series of events that led you here? Did experiences you had in the past cause you to think this way or maybe you have found yourself at a point in your life where you're surrounded by the wrong people?
Step 4: Cut the cord
Once you have defined where these beliefs may have come from...if the source exists in your past, make peace with it and let it go. Forgive yourself and others for allowing these beliefs to manifest.
If the network of people you associate yourself with currently either was the catalyst or are facilitating these beliefs in any way, find ways to move away from them and protect your energy.
Step 5: What are the best possible outcomes?
Now that you have stripped back and understood your self-sabotage, it's time to move forward and start to make changes. Think of all the counter-examples for the things that were once limiting you.
"Changing my diet and doing exercise will be difficult and I'll probably get cravings, feel hungry and be more tired". can be changed to "Eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly will nourish my body, keep me strong and help me to have more energy".
"Having more money means I am greedy and will only make me miserable". can be changed to "Acquiring wealth and living in abundance and prosperity will mean I am able to give back to others and help those who are in need".
Step 6: Map out your comfort zone
Be honest with yourself and work out where you are knowingly choosing to disregard these counter-examples. When you catch yourself going for the easier option or the one that feels the most comfortable, acknowledge this and seek to change the narrative.
Step 7: Take a gentle approach
Remind yourself that making changes to your subconscious mind will take time. Celebrate your courage and willingness to take these steps towards changing your life for the better.
Step 8: Create incentives
What is going to help push you to change? Create small and realistic goals and benchmarks to motivate you and help you to measure your success. Use your limiting beliefs to push you towards your highest potential!
Step 9: Visualise your desired outcome
Where do you see yourself once you have made the transition from limited to limitless? What does your life look like now that you have complete power and control over your thoughts and your reality?
Step 10: Reinforce it
Take inspired action that helps you to embed these new beliefs into your everyday life - positive affirmations, scripting and meditation can all help you to focus on and strengthen your new way of thinking.
Change is possible, and ultimately, you are not your thoughts!
Let me know how these steps helped you, and remember to share this post with a friend if you think it could help them too!